- #I may destroy you stealthing scene series#
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If you consent to having sex with someone with a condom, it’s no longer consensual if that condom was removed. A Police officer does a bit of great sex education in the show and confirms that this is a crime. Was this an example of homophobia? Maybe it was racism and how black men are too often just seen as perpetrators and not victims? Perhaps it’s something to do with being a man and how men are supposed to be in society? Removal of a condom without consentĪs I said above, Arabella experiences another form of sexual violence when Zain, her partner / lover / fuck friend, removes a condom without her knowledge or consent and then continues having sex. Officers are supposed to be trained in helping survivors of sexual violence and if happened in real life this is where you can make a complaint. The officer seemed insensitive and didn’t take it seriously.
More on that at the sex and the law page.Ĭompare how Kwame was treated by the Police when he was reporting the offence to how Arabella was treated. Any sexual touching without consent is a crime. The definitions that we have for sexual offences are a bit confusing and we might have the idea that it’s only acts of penetration that are crimes. He seemed to be a bit unsure about whether this was a crime committed against him, but it definitely was. Kwame consented to sex the first time, but not for the second time, which was clearly a sexual assault. The perpetrator of the attack was somewhere between a stranger and a partner (because they had agreed to meet up for sex at first). Kwame also experiences sexual violence (and also some serious homophobia, more on that later). What’s going on here? Why don’t we talk about the fact that the vast majority of rapes and sexual assaults happen within existing relationships? What have you been taught about relationships, safety, and consent? Let’s talk about Kwame
#I may destroy you stealthing scene tv#
What were the stories of sexual violence that you took from this show? Think about the stories of rape and sexual violence you hear about in the news, or on TV shows and compare that to the statistics. So this show does tell different stories of sexual violence, from strangers and those known to us. 15% of those women reported that they were attacked by a stranger, mostly their attacks were from a family member or friend (21%), or most commonly from a partner or former partner (41%).Īrabella later goes on to experience sexual violence from a partner (we’ll get to that in a bit) and that is a big part of the storyline.
Depressing statsĪccording to Natsal 3 (the biggest sexological survey we have in the UK) around 10% of women have had sex against their will (sexual assault or rape). The scary and depressing thing though is that this is not the most common form of sexual violence. This kind of sexual violence, where someone gets attacked by a stranger, using alcohol or other drugs to sedate them, happens a lot in real life. It’s tough and based on real life experiences of the writer.
#I may destroy you stealthing scene series#
This scene is pieced together over the course of the show in a series of flashbacks, so you don’t see the whole thing till the end. There’s one key act of sexual violence that the story revolves around, which is when Arabella gets her drinks spiked at a bar and then gets raped in a toilet cubicle. Also here’s an article from me about why showing videos in RSE isn’t so great.) Sexual violence
(So teachers, don’t show this to your students.
#I may destroy you stealthing scene free#
Also we’re going to be talking about sexual violence in this article, so feel free to put this down and do some colouring in instead. The BBFC rates some of the episodes for over 15s and some for over 18s (helpful!). Pay attention to the content notes at the beginning of each show because it is a pretty tough watch. It’s really well made, brilliantly acted, it’s funny at times, Kwame wears this amazing coat, and a lot of the time it’s pretty harrowing I think. I May Destroy You is a show about sexual violence, trauma, and the absence of consent. Just like I did with Normal People, which I did a few weeks ago. I’m not so sure about that (as I’ll talk about below) but I thought that it would be good to put together a sex and relationships education guide to the show. ‘They should just show this in school’ that kind of thing. I’ve even seen people saying that thought it was a valuable source of sex and relationships education. It’s popular, everyone seems to love it, and it’s got people talking about some of the things that we cover here at BISH. This is a sex and relationships education guide to I May Destroy You, the TV show which is currently on BBC iplayer and HBO.